opportunitycosts | [ empatheias ] message box

[He knows Alvin's jokes well enough to see that as an attempt to lighten the mood. And while he's not ungrateful for it? He'd definitely prefer if the jokes were brought on the low down this time round.]

Your choice. You'll probably have a better idea of where the better bars are then I am.

Well if you want somewhere quiet, then I know just the place. Meet me here after closing hours. [Boop goes the address and directions.]

Alright. I'll see you then.

[And lo and behold, Lu Meng will be there are the bar waiting for Alvin. And perhaps the greatest shocker of them all, is that he's drinking!!

...a glass of milk. Seriously who drinks a glass of milk at a bar? And a mug of hot chocolate at the side too.

But he's doing a good job at ignoring the sniggers and whispers from the other bar patrons. Instead, he's spending his attention working on some accounts for the welcome centre. These books won't balance themselves, you know! Plus, the work is a welcome distraction from those thoughts in his head...and the grey sepia tones that have settled in the area around him. He looks like he's out of an old black-and-white movie, but at least he's kept the greyscale around him.]

[...Well, Alvin isn't sure what to make of Lu Meng's choice of beverage. Is that a good thing? Is he even allowed to have alcohol yet? Although even if he weren't, Alvin would allow it. He just would have made sure the man didn't overdo it.

But ah. Balancing books. He knows that well. Normally he'd make a comment about it, but instead he just slides in the seat next to his friend, snags a quick drink order, and then turns to the man. As he suspected, something is definitely up.]

So. What's up?

[Might as well just straight to it.]

[Thank you Alvin, he appreciates that. He sets aside the book and the pen, takes a deep breath and turns his face slightly to look at Alvin.]

Sanae's left the island. Her name was on the wall.

Edited 2016-04-01 06:17 (UTC)

[Alvin first just looks at him before his words really hit him. At that point he just flat out stared.]

She...seriously? Sanae?

[It's really hard to believe, especially how that girl was around since...was she there since day one? At least for a very long time.]

[Hearing Alvin say it makes it feel so much worse, and he needs another moment to really concentrate and keep all this emotional energy from spilling out and effecting the area around him.]

Yes. Her co-volunteers at the soup kitchen were worried when she didn't appear for her shift. I tried to contact her, and when I couldn't-- [His voice shakes a little here.] --...when I couldn't, I went to the wall.

She's gone home, Alvin.

[Someone leaving always left bittersweet emotions, especially if it's someone he knows fairly well. On the one hand, he's glad she's back home to do whatever it is she needs to do. On the other, it does kind of suck because she certainly made an impact on practically everyone here, including him. Who were they going to have to fill that optimistic bubble void?

So he's quiet for a moment before he finally responds.]

At least she's back where she belongs. But—[Well, sure Alvin felt a bit bummed, but Lu Meng? It's clear the man was hit harder by this. He doesn't know the full extent of their relationship, but he at least knew they were good friends. ...Somewhat rocky recently from what he could tell from his past conversation with Sanae (was that actually his last one?), but still good friends.]—Sorry.

[It's a bit lame even to him, but he really isn't sure what to say. Does he try to say something to try and change the mood? Or let the man have his moment?]

[There's no words that can fill in this silence that's settled between them. There's a tightness in his jaw, a tension that's winding up inside him, one that he's battling to keep down. In fact, he's so focused on keeping all this energy inside and not out, that he's slipping with his thoughts, and Alvin will be privy to someone of them through the crystal.

--gone, like the rest--

--it's fine, she's gone home, it's fine--

--everyone's left, gone away, just like before--

--he's blessed. so blessed. I, I wish I could--

--stop being so childish, stop, stop thinking--

It's probably a testament to his skills over dunamis that he's not causing any cracks.]

[Although Alvin doesn't actually want or even trying to hear those thoughts, they do reach him. And for a moment, he could only stare a little in surprise. How hard did Sanae's leaving really hit the guy? But then there's a bit more. He can feel it—a ping of jealousy. Actually considering him blessed, and in his private mind's eye he thinks of Presa.

Yeah. Yeah he's pretty damn blessed although he's also realistic and knows it could end just as quickly.

He's starting to think that he should have picked an even more private place. If only he had known...

But he doesn't. He actually doesn't know anything, and that's the problem here. Lu Meng is trying to deal with this all on his own for whatever reason.]

Lu Meng, there's no need to try and hide it—this is pretty big and you can talk to me. What are you feeling right now? [For all the prying he usually does, he's been doing a lot less of it. Especially with Lu Meng. Less out of any sensitivity to his mental state and more just out of respect and consideration of the man's privacy.

But looks like it's time to pick up the old habits.]

Edited 2016-04-01 17:48 (UTC)

[He struggles. How he struggles to force the words out, and it's not because he doesn't trust Alvin. He just has difficulty sharing his emotions with people. The last few times he's spoken candidly to Alvin about his feelings, they've always left a bad taste in both their mouths and Lu Meng doesn't want that to happen again.

But still, hasn't he learned that keeping these thoughts and pains and ugliness inside him isn't always a measure of strength? Wouldn't it be actual strength to admit that he is weak in this, and that he needs help?

Just like what he told her shadow.

So he takes a deep breath, calming himself, calming the glass and mug that's shaking on the table, just waiting for him to explode so that they can throw their contents out. It still takes another pregnant pause, but if Alvin is patient, he will be rewarded.

Forcing himself to look at Alvin with a sombre gaze, he replies softly, hesitantly, but he replies nevertheless.]

...how you would feel, if Presa left.

[Alvin is more than patient. He's letting Lu Meng take most of the control here in how the conversation goes. He'll just lightly sip his drink, and when Lu Meng says that, he wonders if he should order another one.

There's a long pause of his own before he finishes it one go, already motioning for another one.]

Sanae meant that much to you?

Edited 2016-04-01 19:29 (UTC)

She meant more to me than I should have allowed.

[He admits softly, and now his gaze trails back to the glass in front of him. He's not looking at Alvin right now, because the words on his tongue are heavy and he's never, ever been so open about his emotions to anyone that's not her.]

I know, she might come back. And that's a selfish thought, so I don't want her to return if it can be helped.

I just...wish I could have convinced her that I was strong enough to take her friendship. That I wasn't going to fall to pieces if she said something that would upset me. Maybe, maybe that was me all those months ago, but I've improved, and I've recovered and I can even touch wrists' now--

[The words spill out like sand, falling out quietly, quickly, as if he's afraid that he'll stop talking if he hesitates.

And then a pause, and he looks at his hands on the table.]

...we never got to carry out our friendship handshake. [And maybe that hurts more, than never telling her about how he felt.]

[Alvin listens quietly, barely noticing when his glass appears by his hand.]

What was it like? The handshake. [He thinks of the silly thing he and Leia does and how he actually kind of misses it. But for Lu Meng...he has a feeling this handshake might have meant something more. Could have meant something more.]

...never mind. It was just a friendship handshake. [Lu Meng says, almost dismissively. For a moment he was about to spill, but something else holds him back, and he retreats back into the emotional tent he'd constructed, turning the counter splotchy grey.

A second passes. Another. The barkeeper hands over another glass of milk exchanging a puzzled look at Alvin. Another second.]

...It isn't how it felt like, but what it meant to us. [He admits.]

[Looks like he was right on he money. Alvin only glances at the barkeep before giving Lu Meng another moment.]

So what did it mean?

[ empatheias ] message box

it looks so much better than 3/31. What, the 3rd of the 31st month? /squints

you weird britty colonial people

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_format_by_country only 7 countries use MDY /squiinnttss

exactly. britty colonial people AND I THOUGHT I HIT POST DAMMIT

explain france, germany, bulgaria, austria, denmark, and all the non-britty colonials then, lol

they were all in on it. secret date peace treaty

join canada, adopt them all. YMD, DMY and MDY

ew canada

come on, join the rest of the world. DMY!!

now i keep reading it as DMV!

everyone's a sloth

IT'S NIGHT!? and i am on FIRE.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A THREE HUMPED CAMEL?

PREGGERS!!!

And now its the end of April! /ultimate sloth

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