Alvin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
opportunitycosts) wrote2017-08-01 02:06 am
opportunitycosts) wrote2017-08-01 02:06 am
[ three years of development ]
Today marks the end of Alvin's stay in Empatheias, and I wanted to write a bit about how he's developed. I'd insert links to kind of "fluff" it out, but too lazy, lol. Instead, enjoy the rambling as I hit on the highlights.
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When Alvin first arrived into Empatheias, he was from the end of Xillia 1 (selfmotivations) and not really sure what he was going to do with his life. Arriving into this new world was just like another adventure with the gang since most of them had arrived as well. Just be a mercenary and try to work on turning his life around since what else is he going to do? And what a life he had. To put simply, he had a very messed up one, filled with backstabbing, betrayal, recklessness, and all that good "traitor character type" stuff. As I had played him from the same point before, I knew he would be going down the track of deep character development as he tried to fix himself.
But unlike back in Somarium, I'd actually get a canon jump start. A couple short months later, Xillia 2 came out and so I and a few others canon updated. So with all that new canon development under his wing, coming back in Alvin at least had better footing on what he wants to do and had made some head way in turning his life around, but he still hadn't really grounded himself. Xillia 2 canon itself basically gave him a good start and direction, but Empatheias is really where he worked on fulfilling those goals.
Establishing the Hearth
A big milestone for him is pairing up with Fractured Milla to open up the restaurant, From the Hearth. Alvin had already been in the fruit selling business back home, and with Milla and Ludger talented cooks, why not? With the theme all about "home world" cooking, it actually had pretty good success and would eventually become a well known establishment. It might seem natural for him, but having an actual successful business was a huge step for him. Back home, there were a lot of hiccups and still learning the ropes of how to make business deals, especially when he still had his less than trustworthy past haunting him. But here he was capable of proving not only to others but to himself that he could make an honest living. He worked hard, made the necessary connections, talked to the people, and did everything the right way.
Becoming an establishment owner did mean that it he would be officially hanging up his coat and mercenary ways. No longer could he freely go on random jobs and tasks, and while he did go out on a few including various adventures, the Hearth was one of the first signs of him attempting to settle down and have a concrete place for himself. Again, this was pretty big since he was more used to drifting from place to place, taking whatever job was available to him. But hey, he was making stable income and it was good income, plus he could still socialize and meet people. So it really wasn't all too bad.
Some might think it weird that he would set up a permanent establishment like a restaurant, especially when no one knows when they would leave. But after being stuck in Rieze Maxia for twenty years, Alvin understood that even if the stay was temporary, he might as well make the most of it and make a decent living. Granted, he didn't make the restaurant right away—it would be a few months until he did. But he was ultimately proud of it and glad he did it. Because if he could succeed here, then he knew he would be able to do the same back home.
From "Older Brother" to "Sort of Father" Figure
The next milestone would be the development between him and Elize. Now, the two had always had a rather close "big brother, little sister" type of relationship and even before the canon update the two were working on developing that more. A few years ago, Alvin had issues actually caring about people—like genuinely. Most of his life had been based off superficial relationships and keeping people at a distance. At this point in time it's much less so, but he and Elize share a special bond because she had become his first friend back in the early days, always able to see through his lies. So Elize has a special place in Alvin's heart.
Additionally, the two were from different canon points, with Elize still from Xillia 1, so she hadn't quite hit her "teenage girl school" days yet and still more like a littleprincess girl. It was a little weird for him since he knew how Elize would grow up, but during their stay in Empatheias, Alvin had come to basically take care of Elize more and acting more and more like her guardian than just an older brother figure. Basically experiencing an alternate route as back home they didn't have the opportunity to hang out every day or live under the same roof.
The biggest turning point was during Elios's first attack on Verens. Their attempt to escape the city was pretty traumatic for them, especially when Elize was taken. Alvin had done everything he possibly could to save her, but in the end failed. He had faced a lot of defeat and loss in his life, but that had been one of the worst. He didn't even know where she was being taken to which made it even worse (although he would later receive word that she was safe). After Elios had been reasoned with and the attack ended, he would visit Elize at the healing camps and have a talk with Naomi. She told him (kind of scolded and yelled at him, really) that he should take more responsibility and act more like the girl's guardian.
At that point, Alvin started to think about it. It wasn't easy. For one, it was still kind of weird in his mind to make that kind of jump in their relationship, plus he definitely did not think he would make good guardian ("father") material. Being the "brother type" or even the "young uncle" type he could do easy, but anything more? He still had all his issues to deal with and he had never been that responsible over someone's well-being before. Not to mention he wasn't even sure what he would do or even go about it. But despite all of his insecurities, he did know one thing for sure: he cared a lot about Elize and would do everything he could to make sure she was safe. He had a shitty childhood with an even shittier father figure, and Elize hadn't had much of a family life either. Even if it was a bit different, he wanted Elize to have a good experience.
So he eventually decided to ask Eliz what she thought. With her (enthusiastic) consent, he would register himself as Elize's official legal guardian. Although he'd shy away from being called "dad" for a while, he was ready to take on that responsibility—to further take those road to being an actual adult. Granted, how they behaved toward one another really wasn't all that much different. Even a year alter, he felt that the whole "legal guardian" was just a label to make things "official." But it did also help them grow closer and he had actual authority to ground her whenever she snuck off to visit Roxas—or whenever she was being too reckless.
Elize wasn't the only one to fall under his "paternal wing." Emizel was another kid who Alvin had that "big bro, little bro" type of relationship, and he would always try to look after the young demon prince. They also grew pretty close, and Alvin was having similar thoughts about Emizel's childhood as he did about his and Elize's. It was very possible Alvin would have officially "adopted" Emizel as well, although he was pretty much part of the family already.
Yeah, Alvin definitely had a thing about looking out for the younger kids. Mostly as an older brother figure, but also in just being the "responsible adult." Though given how he was also a big kid himself, sometimes that didn't always come through. But for the most part, he started behaving more responsibly and less reckless.
Second Chances and Married Life
Finally, the biggest milestone and development he had was with the arrival of Presa. She had been the one woman he had had a serious relationship with back in his world, and one of the many he betrayed. Their story is a tragic one, really, one I won't rehash here. But because of their tragic past, including the fact that she's dead, her arriving into Empatheias stirred up a lot of emotions for the both of them. By this time, Alvin had been in Empatheias for two years, and there was another year gap to include from after her death. So he had three years to reconcile everything and move on, and Presa was still fresh from dying. Even though he had time, he still felt deep regret and guilt for what he put her through, so having her now alive again only stirred everything back up. How was he supposed to act, what would she do—those questions and more would haunt him for a while.
Fortunately, Presa had reconciled her own feelings and anger toward Alvin before her death, and she had her own regrets about them as well. So the two had talks—a lot of talks about what happened. Alvin was finally able to give her a real, sincere apology, she learned the truth about his own motivations and why he did what he did, and then... It actually became a little rocky between them. They had been amicable, friendly, but what now? It took some time for them to deal with their feelings, for they clearly still held them. Alvin in particular had a rough time because he felt he no longer deserved to have another chance with her. All the fears and what-ifs held him back. But in the end, he decided that perhaps this was their last chance, that if she left the next day without them trying, he would regret it more than if they did and they failed.
So they started dating again, and after their insecurities and doubts, it was like watching two teenagers in love. They still had their issues, but now that they were no longer keeping secrets and being honest with each other, they learned about each other all over again. They were different now, anyway, and that was probably a good thing. But that overhanging fear of the other leaving at any time was probably why they were more into things, at least Alvin was. He was determined to no longer have regrets, to make things right again. Having Presa back in his life only further cemented his resolve to not backslide into his old life and to keep walking that path forward.
This path would eventually lead to their marriage. If this had been their home world, it probably would have taken longer (unless Presa had made it super obvious). But again, Alvin was driven by that fear of losing her again, of regretting not taking that opportunity. Their relationship was going well, they'd known each other for years past, and learned about their current selves. Married life wasn't exactly his style, but in a world like Empatheias (and getting bugged about it by a lot of people), why not? So he would propose and they would be the first Otherworlders to be married in Empatheias.
Their life...didn't really change much. They remained the same two lovebirds, if not maybe a little worse. Not that they never fought or irritated each other in some way, but after what they'd been through, they, especially Alvin, were willing to work things out and reconcile. Plus their sex life was great—I mean they were really into each other. But they lived happily, and that was what mattered. It was what Alvin tried very hard to maintain.
They had been given an unbelievable second chance, one that they knew they would never likely have again. If they had been from different points in time, then their relationship probably wouldn't have gone as "smoothly" as it did. But they recognized they had this chance, that they both felt regret. At the very least Alvin was able to finally express everything he felt and thought, to give that apology even though he would never be forgiven—nor would he want it. But they at least had closure, and in this case they could move on together.
One last thing... If Presa had disappeared while Alvin stayed behind, he would be devastated at first. she wouldn't have returned home—she would have essentially died again. But, he would also be able to accept it as he knew it would inevitably happen and thus eventually move on. After all, in the time they did have together they were able to accomplish so much, and there was nothing he would regret. They never would have gotten this second chance back home, so he would ultimately be grateful that they did.
However, if Presa was still around and he was given the choice to return home or stay, he would opt to stay. He knew that he was still existing in their world (somehow) so he had peace of mind for that. But even if that were not the case... He would stay with Presa. Not necessarily for his sake, though there would definitely be some of that, but for hers. After all, she was dead in his world. She couldn't willingly return to it. So he would stay more for her sake and not regret it. He had already built a pretty good life for himself in Empatheias, and while he would miss his friends dearly, Presa's circumstances outweighs everything else. He had a home with his friends back in his home world, sure. But here in Empatheias, Presa became his home, and he was hers. So he would stay with her for as long as she was there, leaving only after she did. And if he couldn't leave, if he had to stay in this world for the rest of his life all by himself, he wouldn't regret it.
Everything would have been his choice and he could live with that. He would have no regrets, glad to have been granted all those opportunities to turn his life around and finally make the right choices.
Final Notes
There wasn't so much "emotional" development for Alvin and emotions in general weren't much of a focus or had much affect on him, but he had a lot of character development. For those who know Alvin, all those milestones are definitely huge for him. He became more honest, responsible, and basically made something of himself. Long gone were his roaming mercenary days as he finally was able to settle down into a life he wouldn't think he deserved, but one he worked hard for.
He'll always have his regrets, guilt, and insecurities. Being aligned to Piphron tends to bring that out at times, and man did he fight hard to keep that trust and not get overwhelmed by his darker past. But he became more confident about himself, able to take those bad experiences and build on them to not only learn from, but also to help others going through similar situations.
In terms of goals, Alvin hit pretty much all the big ones, so he was pretty set for retire. But there were still things I would have liked to have done, like him actually having a setback or having to deal with loyalty and betrayal. I still wish I could have had him be in some kind of "double spy" role. Even if it was understood and everyone knew what he was doing so he wasn't really double crossing, it still would have been fun to play out. He just really didn't have much in terms of outer conflict, so kind of wished there had been more of that (granted he had enough inner conflict to keep the character development side of things rolling). I think if he was still in game, aside from his settled life, I think I wouldn't have minded him being in a kind of "support" role, helping people with their issues and such. He's been through a lot of tough shit, so being some kind of mentor to help others like himself would have been neat.
Out of all of the characters I've ever RP'ed, I think Alvin is the one who has always had the biggest development. This is mostly due to the number of issues he's had to deal with and still deals with. But this is also why I'm very happy for how he managed to live in Empatheias, and while I wish I could have done more, this isn't really a bad note to end on. I can safely consider his arc complete.
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When Alvin first arrived into Empatheias, he was from the end of Xillia 1 (
selfmotivations) and not really sure what he was going to do with his life. Arriving into this new world was just like another adventure with the gang since most of them had arrived as well. Just be a mercenary and try to work on turning his life around since what else is he going to do? And what a life he had. To put simply, he had a very messed up one, filled with backstabbing, betrayal, recklessness, and all that good "traitor character type" stuff. As I had played him from the same point before, I knew he would be going down the track of deep character development as he tried to fix himself.But unlike back in Somarium, I'd actually get a canon jump start. A couple short months later, Xillia 2 came out and so I and a few others canon updated. So with all that new canon development under his wing, coming back in Alvin at least had better footing on what he wants to do and had made some head way in turning his life around, but he still hadn't really grounded himself. Xillia 2 canon itself basically gave him a good start and direction, but Empatheias is really where he worked on fulfilling those goals.
Establishing the Hearth
A big milestone for him is pairing up with Fractured Milla to open up the restaurant, From the Hearth. Alvin had already been in the fruit selling business back home, and with Milla and Ludger talented cooks, why not? With the theme all about "home world" cooking, it actually had pretty good success and would eventually become a well known establishment. It might seem natural for him, but having an actual successful business was a huge step for him. Back home, there were a lot of hiccups and still learning the ropes of how to make business deals, especially when he still had his less than trustworthy past haunting him. But here he was capable of proving not only to others but to himself that he could make an honest living. He worked hard, made the necessary connections, talked to the people, and did everything the right way.
Becoming an establishment owner did mean that it he would be officially hanging up his coat and mercenary ways. No longer could he freely go on random jobs and tasks, and while he did go out on a few including various adventures, the Hearth was one of the first signs of him attempting to settle down and have a concrete place for himself. Again, this was pretty big since he was more used to drifting from place to place, taking whatever job was available to him. But hey, he was making stable income and it was good income, plus he could still socialize and meet people. So it really wasn't all too bad.
Some might think it weird that he would set up a permanent establishment like a restaurant, especially when no one knows when they would leave. But after being stuck in Rieze Maxia for twenty years, Alvin understood that even if the stay was temporary, he might as well make the most of it and make a decent living. Granted, he didn't make the restaurant right away—it would be a few months until he did. But he was ultimately proud of it and glad he did it. Because if he could succeed here, then he knew he would be able to do the same back home.
From "Older Brother" to "Sort of Father" Figure
The next milestone would be the development between him and Elize. Now, the two had always had a rather close "big brother, little sister" type of relationship and even before the canon update the two were working on developing that more. A few years ago, Alvin had issues actually caring about people—like genuinely. Most of his life had been based off superficial relationships and keeping people at a distance. At this point in time it's much less so, but he and Elize share a special bond because she had become his first friend back in the early days, always able to see through his lies. So Elize has a special place in Alvin's heart.
Additionally, the two were from different canon points, with Elize still from Xillia 1, so she hadn't quite hit her "teenage girl school" days yet and still more like a little
The biggest turning point was during Elios's first attack on Verens. Their attempt to escape the city was pretty traumatic for them, especially when Elize was taken. Alvin had done everything he possibly could to save her, but in the end failed. He had faced a lot of defeat and loss in his life, but that had been one of the worst. He didn't even know where she was being taken to which made it even worse (although he would later receive word that she was safe). After Elios had been reasoned with and the attack ended, he would visit Elize at the healing camps and have a talk with Naomi. She told him (kind of scolded and yelled at him, really) that he should take more responsibility and act more like the girl's guardian.
At that point, Alvin started to think about it. It wasn't easy. For one, it was still kind of weird in his mind to make that kind of jump in their relationship, plus he definitely did not think he would make good guardian ("father") material. Being the "brother type" or even the "young uncle" type he could do easy, but anything more? He still had all his issues to deal with and he had never been that responsible over someone's well-being before. Not to mention he wasn't even sure what he would do or even go about it. But despite all of his insecurities, he did know one thing for sure: he cared a lot about Elize and would do everything he could to make sure she was safe. He had a shitty childhood with an even shittier father figure, and Elize hadn't had much of a family life either. Even if it was a bit different, he wanted Elize to have a good experience.
So he eventually decided to ask Eliz what she thought. With her (enthusiastic) consent, he would register himself as Elize's official legal guardian. Although he'd shy away from being called "dad" for a while, he was ready to take on that responsibility—to further take those road to being an actual adult. Granted, how they behaved toward one another really wasn't all that much different. Even a year alter, he felt that the whole "legal guardian" was just a label to make things "official." But it did also help them grow closer and he had actual authority to ground her whenever she snuck off to visit Roxas—or whenever she was being too reckless.
Elize wasn't the only one to fall under his "paternal wing." Emizel was another kid who Alvin had that "big bro, little bro" type of relationship, and he would always try to look after the young demon prince. They also grew pretty close, and Alvin was having similar thoughts about Emizel's childhood as he did about his and Elize's. It was very possible Alvin would have officially "adopted" Emizel as well, although he was pretty much part of the family already.
Yeah, Alvin definitely had a thing about looking out for the younger kids. Mostly as an older brother figure, but also in just being the "responsible adult." Though given how he was also a big kid himself, sometimes that didn't always come through. But for the most part, he started behaving more responsibly and less reckless.
Second Chances and Married Life
Finally, the biggest milestone and development he had was with the arrival of Presa. She had been the one woman he had had a serious relationship with back in his world, and one of the many he betrayed. Their story is a tragic one, really, one I won't rehash here. But because of their tragic past, including the fact that she's dead, her arriving into Empatheias stirred up a lot of emotions for the both of them. By this time, Alvin had been in Empatheias for two years, and there was another year gap to include from after her death. So he had three years to reconcile everything and move on, and Presa was still fresh from dying. Even though he had time, he still felt deep regret and guilt for what he put her through, so having her now alive again only stirred everything back up. How was he supposed to act, what would she do—those questions and more would haunt him for a while.
Fortunately, Presa had reconciled her own feelings and anger toward Alvin before her death, and she had her own regrets about them as well. So the two had talks—a lot of talks about what happened. Alvin was finally able to give her a real, sincere apology, she learned the truth about his own motivations and why he did what he did, and then... It actually became a little rocky between them. They had been amicable, friendly, but what now? It took some time for them to deal with their feelings, for they clearly still held them. Alvin in particular had a rough time because he felt he no longer deserved to have another chance with her. All the fears and what-ifs held him back. But in the end, he decided that perhaps this was their last chance, that if she left the next day without them trying, he would regret it more than if they did and they failed.
So they started dating again, and after their insecurities and doubts, it was like watching two teenagers in love. They still had their issues, but now that they were no longer keeping secrets and being honest with each other, they learned about each other all over again. They were different now, anyway, and that was probably a good thing. But that overhanging fear of the other leaving at any time was probably why they were more into things, at least Alvin was. He was determined to no longer have regrets, to make things right again. Having Presa back in his life only further cemented his resolve to not backslide into his old life and to keep walking that path forward.
This path would eventually lead to their marriage. If this had been their home world, it probably would have taken longer (unless Presa had made it super obvious). But again, Alvin was driven by that fear of losing her again, of regretting not taking that opportunity. Their relationship was going well, they'd known each other for years past, and learned about their current selves. Married life wasn't exactly his style, but in a world like Empatheias (and getting bugged about it by a lot of people), why not? So he would propose and they would be the first Otherworlders to be married in Empatheias.
Their life...didn't really change much. They remained the same two lovebirds, if not maybe a little worse. Not that they never fought or irritated each other in some way, but after what they'd been through, they, especially Alvin, were willing to work things out and reconcile. Plus their sex life was great—I mean they were really into each other. But they lived happily, and that was what mattered. It was what Alvin tried very hard to maintain.
They had been given an unbelievable second chance, one that they knew they would never likely have again. If they had been from different points in time, then their relationship probably wouldn't have gone as "smoothly" as it did. But they recognized they had this chance, that they both felt regret. At the very least Alvin was able to finally express everything he felt and thought, to give that apology even though he would never be forgiven—nor would he want it. But they at least had closure, and in this case they could move on together.
One last thing... If Presa had disappeared while Alvin stayed behind, he would be devastated at first. she wouldn't have returned home—she would have essentially died again. But, he would also be able to accept it as he knew it would inevitably happen and thus eventually move on. After all, in the time they did have together they were able to accomplish so much, and there was nothing he would regret. They never would have gotten this second chance back home, so he would ultimately be grateful that they did.
However, if Presa was still around and he was given the choice to return home or stay, he would opt to stay. He knew that he was still existing in their world (somehow) so he had peace of mind for that. But even if that were not the case... He would stay with Presa. Not necessarily for his sake, though there would definitely be some of that, but for hers. After all, she was dead in his world. She couldn't willingly return to it. So he would stay more for her sake and not regret it. He had already built a pretty good life for himself in Empatheias, and while he would miss his friends dearly, Presa's circumstances outweighs everything else. He had a home with his friends back in his home world, sure. But here in Empatheias, Presa became his home, and he was hers. So he would stay with her for as long as she was there, leaving only after she did. And if he couldn't leave, if he had to stay in this world for the rest of his life all by himself, he wouldn't regret it.
Everything would have been his choice and he could live with that. He would have no regrets, glad to have been granted all those opportunities to turn his life around and finally make the right choices.
Final Notes
There wasn't so much "emotional" development for Alvin and emotions in general weren't much of a focus or had much affect on him, but he had a lot of character development. For those who know Alvin, all those milestones are definitely huge for him. He became more honest, responsible, and basically made something of himself. Long gone were his roaming mercenary days as he finally was able to settle down into a life he wouldn't think he deserved, but one he worked hard for.
He'll always have his regrets, guilt, and insecurities. Being aligned to Piphron tends to bring that out at times, and man did he fight hard to keep that trust and not get overwhelmed by his darker past. But he became more confident about himself, able to take those bad experiences and build on them to not only learn from, but also to help others going through similar situations.
In terms of goals, Alvin hit pretty much all the big ones, so he was pretty set for retire. But there were still things I would have liked to have done, like him actually having a setback or having to deal with loyalty and betrayal. I still wish I could have had him be in some kind of "double spy" role. Even if it was understood and everyone knew what he was doing so he wasn't really double crossing, it still would have been fun to play out. He just really didn't have much in terms of outer conflict, so kind of wished there had been more of that (granted he had enough inner conflict to keep the character development side of things rolling). I think if he was still in game, aside from his settled life, I think I wouldn't have minded him being in a kind of "support" role, helping people with their issues and such. He's been through a lot of tough shit, so being some kind of mentor to help others like himself would have been neat.
Out of all of the characters I've ever RP'ed, I think Alvin is the one who has always had the biggest development. This is mostly due to the number of issues he's had to deal with and still deals with. But this is also why I'm very happy for how he managed to live in Empatheias, and while I wish I could have done more, this isn't really a bad note to end on. I can safely consider his arc complete.