...I know you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that. I really do. But I didn't want to talk about it because I knew you were going to try and give me advice, when really at this point I just want someone who will lend me an ear. Everyone tells me that it's alright to share your problems so that you feel less of a weight on your shoulders, and yet when you do people assume that you're immediately unable to handle them. I'm trying not to feel weak or talked down on, but you reflecting my own advice back to me as if I'm some greenhorn doesn't help.

[And after that calm vent is over, there's a sigh. It's been a long, long night.]

Look. I'm sorry. And this really isn't about me, it's about the boys. Whatever problems I have I'll deal with them on my own, but both Emizel and Red need help right now. I'll see about getting Red to an emotional counsellor; his emotional wounds have yet to heal, and the longer he goes without proper treatment the worst he'll get. He's taking this whole incident very hard, and he considers himself to be the only one at fault for what happened. I'm worried that if let to his own, he might develop unhealthy thinking patterns that will only feed his fears even further. But I believe he's afraid to seek help because it would mean facing the fact that he can't fully control his emotions and actions any longer. He was very frightened when he told me he couldn't remember anything.

[Gee, does this all sound uncomfortably familiar to Lu Meng.]